Hardly-Urban Paranoia

So, I get drug out of sound sleep at 1 am on a Monday morning by the ringing of my doorbell. Who it was doing the ringing I haven't the foggiest, because of my strict, paranoid, policy of non-doorbell answering in the middle of the night.

My reasoning is like this: We aren't social people; with the exception of maintenance types, no one has been in our apartment except our one friend John. John has in the past been a bit of a drunkard, and you can expect whatever dumb shit from that sort, but he seems to be getting his act together (which cuts into my excuses to drink beer and loaf about, but it's good for him and all that). And even though John has once or twice done the unannounced drop-in, it isn't really like him to do so in the wee-hours, even for a drunken John.

So if it isn't someone we know, then it must be someone we don't know - and frankly, I don't like those people; if I liked them I'd know them. So I don't answer the door.

The problem is that I am really freaked out by it! I feel guilty for being freaked out as well as for not answering the door. What if it was someone in trouble? Or maybe the mother of the messiah looking for somewhere to do her business? (I know that this is bad writing, but it is 2 am) Or what if it is someone coming to tell me that I left my car windows down or something and the rain is getting in?

Chances are, it is one of the lingering homeless people that we have stupidly given money to in the past. They accost you, surprise you, and make you feel guilty - I mean, why can't they get jobs like the rest of us (that is an in-joke that my friend(s) will get, i.e. I'm so very underemployed that one would be tempted, and correct, to call me un-employed). An additional problem is that our front door is at the bottom of very loud steps, so that there is no way that I could peep out to see if it happened to be anyone that I would open the door to.

So instead, I wait for them to go away, let our dog bark, and wait. It's not that I'm a coward - though I am - it's that I don't want to get to know whatever person may be on the other side of the door. It could be a psycho killer or one of our obnoxious neighbors (I call them obnoxious, though I've never had any interaction of any sort with any of them); it could be a stranded friend in need of help, or maybe just maybe a virgin mother heavy with child.

Naah, of course that last one is bullshit - virgin mother, what hooey. Silly christians...alright, it's time for bed, if I'm up for christ-bashing then I can't be too paranoid anymore.

If you don't hear from me again, it probably means that whatever rough beast is waiting on my door step has been born and is out for blood.